Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
