We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
