Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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