the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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