Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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