But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
