Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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