Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Randomize
