i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
