great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
