He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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