We won't sleep together?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
