You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
