she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
