I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
