i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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