I just threw up on my dentist
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
