Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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