so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
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Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
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There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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