I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
And my parents said I crawled through the house
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
