there was a trapeze. enough said
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Drunk is not a location!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
