Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
