I think I just saw someone hide a body.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
