Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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