Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
