sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
