Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
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