I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
