Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
