i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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