dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm passing your future prison.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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