I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
