You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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