Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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