So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Another day, another engagement, another cat
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
