I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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