i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
