garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Why is there bacon in the couch?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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