Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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