Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
