So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
