Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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