i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
