My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i will never coherently bang her
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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