yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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