i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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