ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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