This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
