You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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