We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
