So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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