I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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