lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
