I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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