There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
