I wanna passion pit in your ass
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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