dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Randomize
