I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
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