I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
did i just pee glitter
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
