So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
