Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
This is classic penis vs brain.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
