but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I am one with the molecules
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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