none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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