i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
