Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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