if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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