I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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