Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Drunk is not a location!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
